


revenge is sweet

by Rothecooldad



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Its a mystery, Rewrite, Somebody please just let this poor boy sleep, definitely couldnt be me, i wonder who keeps ruining his rest, the person with many fics doing just that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27563620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rothecooldad/pseuds/Rothecooldad
Summary: “Just,” he cut himself off with a groan. “The next time you get arrested, I am NOT paying your bail. You got that, Linds? You’re on your own.”“That’s a lie, and you know it.” Lindsay pouted.“I will turn this car around right now and deliver you back to the precinct myself, don’t fucking try it with me, Lindsay.”
Relationships: Matt Bragg/Lindsay Tuggey Jones
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	revenge is sweet

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters are based upon the internet personalities portrayed by members of Achievement Hunter and in no way are meant to reflect the lives of the actual person or persons themselves.
> 
> Now [redacted] free!

“C’mon, Matt. It’s a beautiful night out!” Lindsay grinned, gesturing to the sky speeding by out the passenger side window. She turned her head and pouted at Matt. “Why are you being such a Grumpy Gus?” 

Matt looked away from the road for a split second, just long enough to glare at Lindsay. He hoped his eyes screamed ‘ _ you fucked up.’  _

“ _ Okaaay,”  _ She said, dragging the word out. She gave a lazy one-armed shrug. “Maybe it wasn’t my  _ best  _ night. But, like, you can’t blame me for that.”

“I can, actually,” Matt replied, jaw clenched so hard it hurt. “I can, in fact, blame you  _ exclusively.”  _

Lindsay opened her mouth, and he cut her off. 

“One week, Linds. Just one fucking week is all I’m asking.” Matt’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel, knuckles white. “It may not seem like it with the way that you guys keep making me run around, but I’m supposed to be on  _ vacation. _ Do you know what that means?” He glanced to his right where Lindsay sat looking vaguely shame-faced, and sighed. “Don’t bother answering because clearly the answer is no. God, I’m supposed to be resting at home, watching bullshit reality shows on Netflix, and maybe,  _ just maybe,  _ finally catch up on all the sleep that I  _ haven’t  _ been getting since becoming a Fake.” His shoulders slumped. “Did you ever think that you could,  _ I don’t know,  _ call one of the  _ many other members of the crew  _ to come and fucking rescue your ass?”

The shame left her face, and Lindsay scoffed. 

“Who else would I ask? Gavin?  _ Fuck that.”  _ He kind of got her point there. Gav definitely wasn’t his first choice in a situation, but fuck, there were others!

“Fucking  _ anybody,  _ Linds!” Some of his hair escaped the messy bun he had thrown it into on his rush out the door. He blew an errant lock out of his face, drumming his fingers against the wheel in time with his words. “Just. Not. Me.”

“Yeah, but you’re good for it, though. Haven’t let me down once.” She elbowed him gently. “Way more reliable than the rest of those bitches. That’s why we make such a great team, Matt!”

Matt just barely avoided swerving off the road. Lindsay fucking Jones was going to give him a goddamn aneurysm and honestly, ending upside down in a ditch would be too good for her right now. Never mind the rest of the crew kicking his ass for the stunt.

“This is the  _ third time  _ you’ve called me because you’d landed yourself in some shit, and it’s been less than a week on ‘vacation,’” he pulled a hand away from the wheel to include the air quotes. At this point,  _ ‘vacation’  _ is far too generous of a term. Matt’s eye began to twitch. “Y’know, the first time I decided to let it slide. I thought, ‘ _ Hm, maybe she just doesn’t know I’m off _ .’”

“I didn’t!” Lindsay defended.

“Which is why I gave you a pass. Benefit of the doubt and all that shit.” Matt huffed. “Hell, even the second time you called me, demanding that I wipe security footage --  _ DEMANDED, because it was too important to bother at least tacking on a half-hearted please, I guess, not that it matters --  _ even THEN, I didn’t put up much of a fight since it wouldn’t take me long to manage that without leaving my apartment.”

__ He took a sharp right, not caring enough to flip on the blinker. It was a clear enough night, and Matt didn’t see any other cars on the road. And if one did come? Fucking let it hit him. Maybe the crew would stop asking for shit if he was in a coma. He yawned, his jaw clicking.  _ God, he could go for a light coma right about then.  _

Silence fell over the car and from the corner of his eye, Matt could see Lindsay shifting uncomfortably in her seat, fidgeting with the zipper on her jacket.

“I accepted those, and I forgave them immediately because I love you and I’m a nice guy surrounded by incompetent  _ dickbags  _ and this is just another thing I’ve learned to live with.”

Lindsay cleared her throat like she wanted to protest but Matt ignored her, continuing his rant. 

“And then, picture this with me, hm? I’m at home, all comfy and warm in my bed because it’s fucking  _ four in the morning  _ and I was  _ asleep,  _ and then my phone starts ringing! Oh, I tried to ignore it, tried to just roll over and go back to sleep, because I work  _ hard  _ for you assholes and I  _ deserve this.”  _ Matt felt the rage build up in him again just thinking about it. This stress was going to put him in an early grave, he just knew it. “But this caller? Oh  _ man,  _ this caller was  _ very persistent.  _ Do you know who that was, Lindsay?  _ Do you? _ ”

“Uh, well you see-”

“I’d hate to name names, so let’s just call her -- oh, I don’t, I’m just spitballing here --  _ the queen of chaos herself. _ ” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah,  _ oh.  _ You broke into a fucking  _ bakery? Really?” _

“I had a craving for some good good donut holes, Matt, you understand.” 

And, yeah, alright. Matt definitely would have done the same thing given enough incentive, and maybe just a little less of a self preservation instinct. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t  _ pissed. _

“A craving, right, okay. That’s-  _ Yeah _ , that’s just fine.  _ Totally  _ makes up for it, sorry for the misunderstanding.” He pursed his lips in an effort to stop from rambling. He was fucking exhausted, it was five in the morning, and Matt was seriously debating on whether it was worth it or not to floor it into the nearest tree and take them both out. Plenty of sleep when you’re dead, he’s heard.

“I made sure to get you some! There was chocolate and sprinkles! And I even got you those cinnamon-sugar ones that you always complain about because the powdered sugar sticks to your mustache but yet you  _ always _ take two when you think nobody will notice. The good shit.” She said that last part with a smile, obviously proud of herself.

Matt was tempted to take that as an apology, because clearly Lindsay meant it to be. And she cared enough to notice the little things, which couldn’t be said about most of the other Fakes. He’d be lying if he said that the thought didn’t make his stomach erupt in butterflies. It really did feel good knowing she was in his life, even at a time like this.

However, nowhere in her pleading were the words  _ ‘I’m sorry _ ,’ and Matt is nothing if not a salty fuck that could hold a grudge far longer than he would remember why the grudge was there to begin with. So, fuck her pseudo-apology. Matt wouldn’t be so easily bought.

“Just,” he cut himself off with a groan. “The next time you get arrested, I am NOT paying your bail. You got that, Linds? You’re on your own.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it.” Lindsay pouted.

“I will turn this car around right now and deliver you back to the precinct myself, don’t fucking try it with me, Lindsay.”

“Ooookay, hostility noted, I guess.” Lindsay crossed her arms in front of her, turning to stare out the window again.

“ _ Crew funds, anyway _ ,” Lindsay grumbled to herself just loud enough for Matt to catch over the wind. “ _ Wasn’t even your money _ .”

It would be easier to pretend he hadn’t heard anything, but then how would she ever  _ learn? _

Matt slammed his foot on the brake pedal, the car lurching forward. He kept his eyes glued on the street in front of him so he wouldn’t chuckle as Lindsay scrambled to right herself again.

“Ow, what the  _ fuck,  _ Matt?” She was rubbing her arm where it hit the door, and Matt would almost feel guilty for it if she hadn’t brought it on herself. He grit his teeth.

“Out.”

“Wait, what?  _ Matt _ ?” Lindsay stared up at him incredulously, but Matt didn’t budge. “Buddy?”

“I said,” Matt repeated calmly. “Get out. Find a new ride because I am  _ done.” _

She blinked for a moment, stunned, but didn’t protest. Lindsay just cursed under her breath and opened the door, stepping out into the warm Los Santos night. Matt wouldn’t be  _ that  _ cruel, he’d never leave her if it was actually cold. Besides, they’re actually relatively close to the penthouse. If she really wanted to, it would only take her an hour to walk, so it wasn’t like Matt was leaving her  _ completely  _ stranded. Still…

He finally looked up at her, a pleasant smile on his face, like nothing was wrong. The click of the door locking echoed in the night. 

“Matt, c’mon, pal-” She tried.

Matt rolled up the window slowly until her pleads were nothing but faint muffling. He could feel shitty about this later, but right then, revenge felt as sweet as the donut holes that got them into this mess _. _

Lindsay gave him the finger, and Matt waved back cheerily as he took off without her.

And when he got back home, and his cell was ringing incessantly, Matt couldn’t bring himself to care about who was calling. He just took out the battery and soaked in the silence, kicking back and passing out on the couch, one shoe still on and jacket half undone.

He was on  _ vacation,  _ dammit.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i was too attached to this fic to let twat king ruin it  
> and tbh Lindsay's dynamic is more fun anyway  
> come hmu [ @rhdcarts ](https://rhdcarts.tumblr.com)


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